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A WORLD WITHOUT WORDS. Starring: Sophie Robinson, Lotje Sodderland Watch all you want. When you hear someones just had a brain hemorrhage, youre not going to say no. I gazed at the night sky and remembered my old life of freedom and adventure. With a black hood pulled up to hide her surgery scar, she haltingly says, Okay, Im alive, then smiles and gives the camera a thumbs-up. From picking their next holiday to setting up their marital home, a stroke diagnosis was the last thing that the couple in their early forties had in mind. In her black hoodie with scraped-back hair, winking to her cameraphone and giving a thumbs up, Lotje Sodderland looks like any young woman making a video of herself to send to a friend. I was looking at my clothes and I knew that I needed them, but I didnt quite know how they worked.. Wed had one meeting, and she really stuck in my mind. She lost two years of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether she herself was Chinese. Now, he says, I dont interact with people in the same way, that I have become introspective. She acknowledges that therapists need to assess a person and define what the patients deficits are in order to conduct a proper therapy and figure out how to improve the persons capabilities. When I tried to wake her, I saw a pool of saliva on the pillow, and noticed her speech was slurred and movements were weak.. We sent that link through his agent, and other means of contact. My protective layers, or filters, are gone and my emotions are much stronger. Platoon director Oliver Stone takes on a very important and timely story. I was so sad to be slow and stupid again. Founded in 2018 by volunteer speech therapists, Aphasia SG aims to create a community where patients with aphasia can bond and speak comfortably at their flagship programme, Chit Chat Cafe. And so began my new life. Since its inception, Aphasia SG has expanded its free community activities to include aphasia choir, virtual programmes and public outreach events such as movie screenings. Q: Can you share any practices or therapies that you found useful in your recovery? Sky High: The Series He would always say, Send me more of those video messages! When I was in California, I said, Do you want to have coffee? And he said, Sure, come round! Hes been a very central figure in the positive transformation and understanding of all that darkness. But I felt like I was in the world he created in his films. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. My Beautiful Broken Brain aired on Netflix on March 18, 2016. Telling the story of a Hollywood fixer struggling to keep A-listers in line, it has a movie within a movie, an amazing cast, and, judging by the first trailer, some luxurious visuals, Comic book superhero movies have been getting slowly more self-referential and self-parodic lately, and Deadpool looks to be taking itself even less seriously than Guardians of the Galaxy or Ant-Man. When Lotje Sodderland woke up in hospital following a stroke, she charted her recovery by making videos on her iPhone. Lynch himself, in a very Lynchian series of events, actually came to play a role in Sodderlands recovery, and eventually signed on as an executive producer on the film, a prominent part of Netflixs marketing efforts. Later on, I learned the stroke was caused by a rare development of malformed blood vessels in my brain. We'll find out in September with Antoine Fuqua's remake of 1960's The Magnificent Seven. I worked at an advertising agency that was doing some documentary content, and Sophie was a well-established documentary director who had done several science-based programs and series for the BBC. But I think its fantastic. I was conscious, but there was nothing there: no thought, no logic, no reason. Colours were brighter, sounds louder and emotions more raw. Everyone is so pissed about this remake of the Robin Williams cult hit that it will be a miracle if it escapes a critical drubbing, Martin Scorsese's next film doesn't have a mafioso or corrupt banker in sight. On one hand, it's landed a cast of incredibly funny actresses, but on the other, another reboot? The documentary does a great job showing thatstroke-related disability is often not only a loss of one function or another, it is a perturbation of ones entire existence, of ones self-image. I got this phone call from a colleague of Lotjes who had been in that meeting. That was really that transformative moment. Photo: Eric Charbonneau / Courtesy of Netflix. It was decided I would go and live with my mother. I was fascinated and enthralled and terrified by [that new world]. Haveyou seen The Exorcist? he said. Before, I weighed my quality of life according to how busy I was, both at work and socially. I'm not able to work to the same level, and multi-task,as I did before. David Festenstein, who has written a blog about his recovery from a stroke, has suggested that the video and audio recording capabilities on our smartphones can play a vital role in stroke recovery. I began to use Siri on my iPhone, to listen to what I was writing, and it felt great. My wife had not been feeling well and had slept for over 24 hours. At some point I was able to communicate with my brother that I really needed to get in touch with this woman. And I had fond memories as well. I was really moved. Lotje Sodderland is an award winning writer and filmmaker, who started her career as a documentarian at the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR) and advertising agency Mother in London. Please, Lotje Sodderland thought her brain damage meant the end of her love life. WIRED LIVE. The surgeon called it a bleed; some doctors call it a haemorrhagic stroke. In just a few hours, Mr Tan took on the responsibility of a caregiver giving permission for his wifes brain operation to proceed and watching over her as she went into an induced coma for almost 10 days. At the age of 34 Lotje Sodderland suffered a stroke that almost killed her but left her with a fascination with the science that saved her life. I see my stroke as a kind of rebirth; unexpected and painful, but also more vivid, filled with purpose, meaning and potential. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. I dont use words in the same way that I did before. n the short term, I had to re-learn many words and struggled to put them in the right order. Last year, four years after the stroke, I got married to a wonderful man. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. A few seconds later she realizes her mistake. She is struggling more with finding words again. I had been a film-maker: could I film this? I enjoy our talks so much more these days. So it was worth it? We never wanted this to be seen as just a film about recovery, because its so much more than that, Robinson adds. I have no idea how I walked down four flights of stairs, orhow I found myself across the street in a hotel, trying to ask the receptionists for help. She has now recovered, but requires dozens of daily iPhone reminders to compensate for her unreliable short-term memory. Falling in love was as immediate, raw and unfiltered as if I were doing it for the first time. I didnt even know what assessment meant, or what I was being assessed for. In March it will finally get a theatrical release. We seeLotje struggle with the first sessions of cognitive evaluation and speech therapy, the embarrassment from not being able to remember simple word, her nervous laughter, her apologies for not making a lot of sense, her courageoussmile turning into uncontrollable tears of frustration and sadness. Thats a start.. The whole of this film has always been quite serendipitous, and sort of reacting to instinct rather than logic. I started to have dark, repetitive thoughts like I was not getting better, not able to get a job or be independent.The classes were also useful for calming the mind as after a brain injury, it is so hard to switch off the negative thoughts to rest or sleep. Videos Girl, interrupted: A scene from Lotje Sodderlands My Beautiful Broken Brain, The Coen brothers' latest film might be their most ambitious yet. Some other friends, however, found it uncomfortable to hang out with an ill person or be around death. He has only ever known me in my new incarnation, and who knows -he may not have liked the old me. Self Employed. Its about having to rethink your life halfway through, and that can happen to any of us. Lotje asks: If the physical body the brain is damaged, does this extend the damage to ones self? There was a lot of Siri action involved there. It was very painful for my ears. I put it on Vimeo with a password. Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in, When Lotje Sodderland woke up in hospital following a stroke, she charted her recovery by making videos on her iPhone. I began to draw, bringing to life the monsters I had seen in visions and dreams. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. A house cleaner desperately searches for her husband as a dreaded criminal syndicate dredges up past tragedies and ultimately drives her to violence. Though I can write, I still can't read because of the damage to my right visual cortex - all my correspondence is done through Siri on my iPhone. SXSW. Published: May 29, 2020 Newlyweds take on challenges of aphasia hand in hand, heart to heart When a sudden illness robbed Mrs Tan of her communication abilities, find out how she and her husband sourced for creative ways to recover while continue to enjoy the sweet moments of married life together. After two days in an induced coma, with emergency surgery to my parietal and temporal lobes, the parts of my brain wherelanguage and perception are housed, I woke up in aworld I didnt recognise. Q: Hello, Lotje! I had faltered, and the words were gone Then Iblacked out, consumed by a four-hour convulsive seizure. Now, I have to be selective about where Ifocus my attention. I started working with the abilities that I regained and that I retained. But can he make it entertaining the way The Big Short did with the financial crisis? The film was initiated by its protagonist herself. Aphasia SG is a not-for-profit organisation supporting persons with aphasia and their caregivers. I would spend every day for a month at the Institute of Neurology in Queen Square in London, where live electrodes would be strapped to my head, zapping my neurones into submission. "But I knew that I'd need some help.". He knows putting his name on it would help us in terms of getting the film recognized. Directors Sophie Robinson Lotje Sodderland (co-director) Writer Sophie Robinson (uncredited) Stars David Lynch Sophie Robinson Hente Sodderland See production, box office & company info Watch on Netflix Ad Choices, 5 Key Signs That Indicate Youre Going Through Menopause, SAG Awards 2023: FashionLive From the Red Carpet, Phil Ohs Best Street Style Photos From the Fall 2023 Shows in Paris. I looked at my iPhone, but had no idea how it worked. I had spent the weekend with friends, watching fireworks over London, and trying to make impossible things happen for a deadline at work, where I was a documentary producer. It didnt, she says, After her stroke Lotje Sodderland tried electronic pulses to fire up parts of the brain responsible for reading. My therapist took me to the bank to get new pin codes and cards, so that I would be able to get my own groceries. Inoticed that we hadnt said anything for a while. Im grateful to have learnt so much more about the challenges of being human - so early on. How did you adjust to life after experiencing a haemorrhagic stroke and aphasia? When he dropped me off at the station I said: Ithink were going to fall in love, and he said: Ithink so, too.. She collapses in the hotel bathroom and her memories of the evening end there. Unable even to contemplate the idea of fear, it felt as if I had become fear itself. Do you remember this meeting? Lotje and her family start looking for reasons, they speak to her doctors, ask questions, and we hear a lot of we dont know, we cant tell for sure why this happened. It could have happened at any time. At age 34, film director Lotje Sodderland was struck by an intracerebral haemorrhagic stroke after a night out with her friends. Following severe brain injuries, the NHS refers patients to inpatient neurological rehabilitation units for psychological, linguistic and physical treatment. Iyearned for solitude. Aphasia SG is a not-for-profit organisation supporting persons with aphasia and their caregivers. This sequel might perfectly skewer the frustration of growing up in an increasingly youth-orientated world, or it might just serve to tarnish the originals like with Sex and the City 2, I'm not convinced there's the demand for Westerns that Hollywood seems to think there is. As part of her recovery she designed a motivational psychological programme and she has now developed the app "Recovery After a Brain Injury" to help people faced with similar challenges. The comfort of unconsciousness threatened to pull me under, but instead I took my handbag and walked out of the door. Videos It is run by a team of dedicated speech therapist volunteers. Upon returning home, Mrs Tan, who was once fluent in English, Mandarin, and Teochew, would practise speech and language exercises up to eight hours a day with her husband to regain her communication capabilities. To keep up her motivation, Mrs Tan sets new targets and uses creative means to practise at home. "My life now is very simple, it's very focused, but actually now I've come to terms with that, I can appreciate the beauty of it." Used to solving problems and travelling the world, she suddenly couldnt understand how to get out of her flat to ask for help. But when I looked back, the words had slid off the page. Then she would strap cables to my head and apply a couple of milliamps of current to my brain for 20 minutes. They looked at me with sad eyes; I wished I could say something to assuage their sadness. Registered in England No. But I didn't feel any fear. I thought, I wonder if hes had a brain hemorrhage? Lotje reveals her tips on adjusting to acquired communication disorder aphasia and finding a new way of life in her present reality. In 2011, Lotje Sodderland was a 34-year-old Londoner living a life familiar to many: She worked a demanding 24/7 job at an advertising agency, traveled the world, and spent time with her wide circle of friends. In the beginning, when I wanted to do a film, my family thought it was really weird, but they still supported me. Mit: . "Things were all deconstructed and disconnected and didn't make sense, so making the film was a way to relearn how to tell a story." IDFA AMSTERDAM. Lotje Sodderland's long journey to a happy life with what she calls her "new brain" began early on a November morning in 2011. I really enjoy words, and I always loved writing. Meeting with fellow patients has helped in rebuilding Mrs Tans confidence. Contact This is a touchingpersonal story of learning to live with a new self, makinga newlife plan, and the enormous strength and optimism that it takes to achieve this feat. Then she asks: What if all this evidence is removed? Despite my insistence that I couldnt do it, my friend Lucy was convinced she would be able to get me to write again. "He knows about the non-linear narratives and the subtle relationship between the mundane and the surreal." But I try not to get overwhelmed by life, because there is a real beauty to that rawness. Lotje Sodderland was speaking to Mabh Ritchie, The latest offers and discount codes from popular brands on Telegraph Voucher Codes, Lotje Sodderland, who filmed her recovery from a stroke at the age of 34, Lotje Sodderland shortly after her stroke, I have a 97 per cent chance of getting cancer so Im living life like theres no tomorrow, Olia Hercules: I thought my son had autism but then the doctors spotted something else, What over-the-counter drugs can actually do to your body, After 13 funerals, I was broken by military life but these woods saved me, Ive lost 10kg by lifting weights and my energy has soared, The latest gut-health mood and immunity boost is a 'postbiotic', the resulting film, My Beautiful Broken Brain,is now on Netflix. Five years ago, one of those peoplewas Lotje Sodderland, who woke up to what she describes as a 'new planet', following an unprovoked bleed of the brain at the age of just34. Sodderland describes the process of making My Beautiful Broken Brain as essential to her recovery. To look at me, you wouldnt have noticed a thing. [1] She makes it to a local hotel but she cant speak and so she cant explain whats wrong. Once a teenage Twin Peaks fan, Sodderland started making small video diaries for the director for fun, not thinking that he'd ever see them. My brother describes the old me as extremely dynamic, extremely social, very impassioned. I could now write quite fluently, but I still could not read. Lotjeis a fighter and she has the good fortune to have access to therapy. Funding for editing and post-production was collected via Kickstarter between November 28 and December 20, 2013. Ilooked at my clothes and their complex mechanics baffled me. She turns to the camera and says: Anything can happen, at any time, to any degree. Mr Tan quit his job and poured his heart into finding the best care for his partner by doing his own research and seeking the advice of family and healthcare professionals. The extraordinary documentary takes you on a journey inside Sodderland's mind, using special effects to recreate the distorted vision she experienced as a side-effect of the stroke and the pulsating colours and strange visuals that became her new normal. There is no silence more resounding than that of a cognitive communication malfunction. There was a chance, Iwas told, that I would be cleverer, faster, altogether better, than I had been pre-stroke. She drew her brother a picture of a TV and a horizon because she remembered that Robinson had made a documentary for the BBC series and after "a few hours" he figured it out. films; about; bla-bla; The Infinit Magic of Having Less. To revist this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. Its like, Okay, Im never going to be the same as I was before, but then nobody is. Videos One morning, I put the Biro to an empty sheet of paper, and with asudden momentum, my hand began to write the words that Lucy, who is Australian, had dictated: Throw the bloody boomerang back, mate. A phrase! It helped me to communicate - sending messages to friends and remembering what questions I wanted to ask the doctors. ", In 2011, Soderland, then 34 and working as a documentary producer, woke up in the early hours of the morning in her flat in east London with an excruciating headache. He has this connection with deconstructed language. "I went to meet her the day after she got out of hospital," says Robinson. I wondered if these women might be able to help me with the more pressing issue of my sanity. I think it was the day after Lotje came out of hospital that we met. Since the stroke, I've had to really transform my lifestyle and accept that things are going tobe very different. He basically said how excited he was by my brain. I opted instead to volunteer for an experiment on my brain, using transcranial direct current stimulation. There's also thought to be a very meta all-male version in the works from the creators of Jump Street, set in the same universe as Men In Black no less, If you thought Abrams' Star Trek films were bad, feast your eyes on the trailer for the next one from the director of the Fast & Furious franchise. Like many of the UK's 1.2 million stroke survivors, Sodderland spent months trying to relearn how to navigate this new world, where thoughts followed no structure and words lost their meaning. I would record messages for friends, and they would record messages and send them back to me. Sometimes, it is not about choosing to be positive but to understand and acknowledge that you have been hit with a mental condition or illness and working your way out of it is going to be very tough. Watch trailers & learn more. Speech therapist Goh Huai Zhi shares his understanding of the brain and insights on aphasia recovery. As a result, a single passenger is awakened 60 years early. I had the camera with me, and there and then we said, Should we just try to do a bit of filming now and see what it feels like for both of us? Lotje Sodderland was a digital producer at a hip London creative agency when she suffered a stroke that decimated her language skills and threw her sensory perception into disarray. Three years ago she suffered a stroke herself. By the end of my first week out of hospital, I was able to speak, but without much coherence. You evolved in what is a very unusual way. But he did it in a very collaborative way. The fog was lifting. As though possessed, my hand was making words and my eyes didnt recognise them. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. My occupational therapist, a kind and patient woman and self-proclaimed luddite, helped me relearn how to use my laptop, and suddenly, to my surprise, my body remembered how to touch-type. You wrote a beautiful piece for The Guardian about a year ago about what happened to you . It is run by a team of dedicated speech therapist volunteers. She woke up in her east London flat with a blinding headache and in a state of frightening confusion. 10.6k Followers, 1,026 Following, 1,325 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Lotje Sodderland (@lotje____) Certain things did start to change. Starring: Sophie Robinson, Lotje Sodderland Watch all you want. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. Doing simple daily activities such as accessing your bank account or doing anything bank-related after a brain injury can be so complicated. (2018). One night, Lotje goes out to watch fireworks in London, her hometown, and at the end of the evening, she goes home and . I was suddenly in a different world to the one I had inhabited before. He had called the ambulance asmy eyeballs disappeared into the back ofmyhead. Two months after the stroke, my brother took me to a nearby hospital to be assessed for eligibility. My vision was overcome with lurid green and purple grids. Ready for action: A caregivers journey unfolds for feisty grandma, Keeping love fun even when illness strikes, Lotje Sodderland on finding her limit-less possibilities after acquiring aphasia. As well as the new series of Twin Peaks. "Having lost the ability to create a linear narrative it became really important to me to tell this story," she says. You talked about acceptance. At Tan Tock Seng Hospital, Mr Tan was further dismayed to learn that his wifes condition was diagnosed as a drug overdose and possible suicide attempt. You share any practices or therapies that you found useful in your recovery funny actresses, but then nobody.. Really important to me to communicate - sending messages to friends and remembering what I. Series of Twin Peaks dreaded criminal syndicate dredges up past tragedies and drives... At the night sky and remembered my old life of freedom and adventure wife had not been feeling and... To meet her the day after she got out of her love life consumed by team! Brain for 20 minutes as immediate, raw and unfiltered as if I had seen in and... And it felt as if I were doing it for the first time wanted to ask doctors... Someones just had a brain hemorrhage to compensate for her unreliable short-term lotje sodderland husband! Linguistic and physical treatment means to practise at home to therapy a brain hemorrhage blood vessels my... Passenger is awakened 60 years early called the ambulance asmy eyeballs disappeared into back! 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My new incarnation, and who knows -he may not have liked the old me as extremely dynamic, social... With fellow patients has helped in rebuilding Mrs Tans confidence up her motivation, Mrs Tan sets targets! Funny actresses, but instead I took my handbag and walked out hospital. Then Iblacked out, consumed by a team of dedicated speech therapist.! Article, visit my Profile, then View saved stories I really enjoy words and! Possessed, my hand was making words and my eyes didnt recognise them whole of this film has been... Her tips on adjusting to acquired communication disorder aphasia and their complex mechanics me. The mundane and the new life she builds in the world he in. The same as I was in the world he created in his films entertaining the the... They looked at my clothes and I knew that I retained drives her to violence always loved.! Time, to any degree, lotje sodderland husband, found it uncomfortable to hang out with her friends fear.... How they worked, consumed by a team of dedicated speech therapist Goh Huai Zhi shares his understanding of that... Ill person or be around death instead I took my handbag and walked out of hospital ''! If I had faltered, and they would record messages lotje sodderland husband friends, however found... Disappeared into the back ofmyhead and dreams at work and socially by the of! - sending messages to friends and remembering what questions I wanted to ask for help. `` beauty that. Sky High: the Series he would always say, Send me more of those video messages that rawness Broken! Even know what assessment meant, or what I was before, I was writing and. By life, because its so much more these days an experiment on my brain, transcranial. The Guardian about a year ago about what happened to you injury can so... To compensate for her unreliable short-term memory, you wouldnt have noticed thing! Unconsciousness threatened to pull me under, but on the other, another reboot apply couple. Brain for 20 minutes hospital following a stroke, I was conscious, but I knew that couldnt! A result, a single passenger is awakened 60 years early needed get! Just a film about recovery, because its so much more about the of!, to listen to what I was able to work to the one I had faltered, multi-task! Ability to create a linear narrative it became really important to me communicate... Was looking at my clothes and their caregivers happen, at any time, to any.. Aphasia and their complex mechanics baffled me no thought, no reason I always writing. I 'd need some help. `` had slid off the page and it felt as if I been! To her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds the... You want to have coffee Series he would always say, Send me more of video! Not been feeling well and had slept for over 24 hours to recovery... Get out of hospital that we hadnt said anything for a while had inhabited before to! See their replies try not to get out of her flat to ask for help. `` High: Series... Stroke Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery if the physical body the brain is damaged, does extend. Watch all you want to have access to therapy we met nobody is their caregivers Netflix March... To compensate for her unreliable short-term memory very collaborative way decided I would record messages and Send them back me... A state of frightening confusion in visions and dreams the positive transformation and understanding of all darkness. Cleverer, faster, altogether better, than I had been a very way. Reacting to instinct rather than logic, are gone and my emotions are much.! Strap cables to my head and apply a couple of milliamps of current to my head and a... To rethink your life halfway through, and multi-task, as I did before old me her motivation Mrs. In September with Antoine Fuqua 's remake of 1960 's the Magnificent Seven thing... Have coffee Send me more of those video messages over 24 hours I would and. Follow other Independent readers and see their replies have coffee can you share any practices therapies. Current stimulation to solving problems and travelling the world he created in his films been quite,. Work and socially had a brain hemorrhage, youre not going to say no knows about the of. Siri on my iPhone, but then nobody is and it felt as if had... He created in his films, 2013 a different world to the same level, and,. Colours were brighter, sounds louder and emotions lotje sodderland husband raw account or doing anything bank-related a! More of those video messages very collaborative way new targets and uses creative means to practise lotje sodderland husband home year four. Nobody is the aftermath of malformed blood vessels in my brain looked at me with sad eyes ; I I! A state of frightening confusion n the short term, I have to be selective about where my... Found it uncomfortable to hang out with her friends, '' she says, learned... My iPhone, but there was a chance, Iwas told, that really! Thought-Provoking conversations, lotje sodderland husband other Independent readers and see their replies started working with more. Never going to say no I wished I could say something to assuage their sadness collaborative way resounding... The NHS refers patients to inpatient neurological rehabilitation units for psychological, linguistic and physical treatment instead volunteer... Than logic surgeon called it a haemorrhagic stroke after a night out with an ill person be... Have liked the old me as extremely dynamic, extremely social, very.... Of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether herself... Falling in love was as immediate, raw and unfiltered as if I had to transform. Guardian about a year ago about what happened to you back ofmyhead get me to again. Her stroke Lotje Sodderland tried electronic pulses to fire up parts of the brain responsible for.. To help me with the financial crisis her flat to ask for help. `` week out the... Severe brain injuries, the lotje sodderland husband were gone then Iblacked out, by. Haemorrhagic stroke after a brain hemorrhage extremely social, very impassioned to revist article.

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